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Lessons I learned from the worst sales email I have ever read

I just received an email today from a sales rep at a company I won’t say, but was so thrown off by it I had to blog. To give some context to this email, a sales rep emailed me about 5 months ago to see if I would be interested in purchasing anything from her company, which produces customizable schwag for other companies to help with promotions. Take a look at what she wrote…

Now this company has branded themselves as a “sassy hot online store”, which is fine and I get the more laid back and informal language but sales emails are ultimately about connecting with your potential customers.

Things to never do in sales emails:

1. A follow up email almost half a year out is almost pointless. I get this is probably just an automated email with the hopes that someone will bite from them reaching out, but nonetheless, waste of time because you aren’t connecting.

2. Don’t say your product sucks. If you are willing to admit that “… about 10% of it is total crap”, it makes you seem that you don’t fully believe in what you are trying to sell me. I understand this rep may have been trying to relate to show that “nobody/no company is perfect”, but this makes me look at your company more of as a joke than one I would want to do business with.

3. If we aren’t friends, don’t admit you’re an alcoholic… “I’ve spent a lot of time drinking and reading gadget blogs (in that order)…” Sure, this provides a small sense of humor but realistically would only work for someone I actually know. I have seen one email from this person and that was 5 months ago. Not sure if admitting you drink before work is the right impression you want to be giving off.

4. Humor can break the ice, but don’t make jokes that suck. “You’d be like the one quiet girl in junior high that never saw Star Wars because her parents thought the way it portrayed women was degrading.” WTF? I don’t even know how to comment on this because it is so ridiculous and doesn’t add any value to her email. You want to be relatable not laughable (meaning I am laughing at you not with you).

5. Selling is about connecting, not selling. “So please goes on there and buy something. Right now.” Nobody wants to be sold something. People hate that feeling and avoid sales people at all cost all the time. Real selling happens when people have built some type of relationship with you and seek you out when they are looking for what you sell.

6. Leave the middle school games in middle school. ” It will save you (and by extension your company) from being square, and it will save me from selling dog Tshirts for the rest of my life.” Basically calling your potential customer and all the people who work in your company square if they don’t buy from you may not be the best tactic. Ultimately I now have the feeling that I do want this rep to be selling dog Tshirts for the rest of her life.

Now like I said earlier, the brand of this company is sassy and I definitely get the feeling of that. But I have realized that sassy and sales aren’t the best mix. You’d be like that one really annoying girl in junior high that nobody wanted to hang out with or genuinely do anything for because they were… sassy.

About Joey Aquino

@Joey_Aquino https://joeyaquino.wordpress.com/ http://www.linkedin.com/in/jdaquino


One thought on “Lessons I learned from the worst sales email I have ever read

  1. That e-mail is equivalent (or worse) than putting a flyer on your windshield. That e-mail should definitely be a reminder to everyone reading that every e-mail, phone call and conversation is an opportunity to connect more deeply with your client (or potential client). Don’t waste that opportunity.

    Posted by Stephen Medawar (@stephenmedawar) | October 15, 2011, 7:12 pm

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